J K W O N G

08:33 pm: im alive
oh yeah. im okay. i nearly have forgotten about livejournal. please refer to my myspace account for sporadic blogs.

10:48 pm: Obligatory Graduation Winding down Post
so it really is all coming to a close. tomorrow is my last day of college classes. forever. after i give this group presentation at 10:00, i'll be a free bird. until finals, that is.

this has really got me thinking. my past 4 years have been in preparation for this. when i was an underclassman, i would work so hard throughout the year to be _ahead_ in my classes at least one chapter. this time three years ago, i spent all my time in the hawc with a smoothie studying for my intro to psych class. of course, since then i have learned to slack off and id be hard pressed to tell you where my books are even located in my room, but hey, thats senioritis for you.

there's nothing else academic to work towards. no summer reading, no chapters that i need to keep under my belt, no notes to save for future papers. everything can go in the garbage. red binders, highlighters, manuals. there is no need for them anymore.

im currently working on graduation announcements/thank yous and i must say that they are pretty spiffy looking. if only my printer would decide to cooperate...

so its all coming to an end. tomorrow i start throwing away school materials and various other junk that i do not need. ecuador trip is sending me confirmation e mails and im down to just deet and mosquito net on my list of things to buy before i depart.

im all growned up.

sort of.

i also ate a croissant stuffed with swiss chocolate at 10.

i guess im not all that growned up yet.

12:08 pm: Me voy a graduar
one chapter in my life is about to close, and i cant even comprehend it.

i have 2 academic days of school left. im going to spend those days skipping spanish class on monday, taking one more final day of notes for business ethics, and presenting a stupid presentation for hr on tuesday. i have a prssa appreciation dinner where i have to buy and bring meat (and other beverages) on wednesday night, and ill probably have to spend the majority of thursday stripping my room and putting it in boxes. i think theres a small group dinner on friday, and the love will come back up north either friday or saturday to visit the 'rents. ive got my first of my very last finals on saturday (thats right, SATURDAY) and then i'll be heading back to the bay for the first of many trips to bring back and store my crap. mothers day is on sunday so itll be fun and interesting to have todd there, and ill get to parade him around my very asian church. its also allisons graduation so we might sneak into that. well probably be in the bay area monday and tuesday and i want to hang out with all of you bay area people before i skip town and move away forever (FOREVER).

i have my last final on wednesday the 17th at 8 in the morning. you know what im going to do before that? go to a concert tuesday night in the city. what a way to end an academic career. wednesday is also the day i start taking malaria pills. thursday the 18th will probably also be spent stripping and packing up the rest of my room, because the 'rents will be up in s-town on the 19th (for awards) and the 20th (graduation). i plan on going to fbc for that sunday after, then i will be leaving stockton for good without a second glance (i shouldnt be so harsh..stockton and i have had some good times).

so my summer might be a little bit more rushed than previously anticipated. i had a phone conference with my employer yesterday and apparantly there might be a position opening up in the city of my preference in mid june (which is a month before my desired start date). i have to talk to her a little bit more in a couple of weeks, but i upped my start date to like the 2nd week of july. i most definitely want to get out to arizona, so my itinerary might be as follows:

5/24-6/16 ecuador
6/16-6/23 costa rica
6/28-7/7 arizona
7/7-7/10 move my life to los angeles
7/10 start training/work

i have a feeling im going to be tired. but so worth it. id do it again.

i was supposed to be somewhere 20 minutes ago.

05:15 pm: Hi!
mm..

ive been spending a lot of time in la lately. ive been having a lot of fun and excitement on the weekends, so it just sort of feels like i have to play catchup or take a break from all the fun for a few days before i can go back to having fun on the weekends. if that makes any sense at all.

i am _so_ excited about moving down to la in a few months. i know a lot has to be done before i can actually move down there, but im just totally digging it. ask me 3 years ago where i thought i would be now and la would have been the last place in my mind. lets face it, i cant stand the traffic, lack of parking, smog, and "superficialness" of the surroundings. but i LOVE it.

im not a bar girl. i can't drink many drinks that they sell at bars because (1) they are expensive and (2) they are really strong. i dont really know what to do with myself at bars. just...lounge? and nurse my $8 cocktail? meh. caffeine is my drug of choice.

which brings me to this awesome dive that i discovered (thanks to daniel brummel of ozma..more about that later) in pasadena. get this: on sundays it's the rec hall of a church. during the week its a coffee bar featuring local talents. $4 cover with all the coffee/tea/amazing music you can stomach. i loved it like heck. people need to make more places like this.

im really excited about finding a community in la. im sort of at a crossroads right now, though. i find myself constantly thinking about where im going to live next year. while it would be _amazing_ to live with jess, its so hard to make plans right now because neither of us really know where well be in a couple of months. itd be amazing to live in melrose/hollywood, but parking is sort of a problem and if im going out to hollywood id have to drive and pay for parking anyway. hollywood is the closest thing id ever come to living in a "city".

right now, im really looking into the pasadena and surrounding areas. im trying to decide if i should find a roommate or just find a nice place for myself. and there are nice singles out there within my budget. currently, im leaning towards the single idea. my friend brought up a good point: i only have about 3-5 years to really assert my independence (also the typical time it takes me to move through management within the company) before i start to really think for two and live with a boy and all that fun stuff. the downside is that im going to have a tendancy to keep to myself and get outside of my comfort zone to make friends and to build that community, but i think ive learned a lot about myself this semester and have discovered some character flaws and have been working on them which has helped for preparing for next year. that was longwinded.

and also, i'd be able to walk around in my pajamas all day.

ive been baking a lot. yesterday, i made a vanilla cinnamon swirl bundt cake that sort of foiled because i tried to take it out of the pan while it was too hot. today, i tried to make a low fat chocolate banana bundt cake. right now its cooling. oh heck its only 5:30? i thought it was 6:30. score i have another hour to let it cool.

im being honored tonight at a bishop scholar's event for graduating. yay for being done with school in about 6 weeks. commsymp is going really well and i am SO excited for it. i want to hug it and show it off and i wish everyone could make it.

so thats me right now : ) how are you? i haven't talked to _any_ of you in a really really long time.

10:26 pm: today was a GREAT day
-had lunch with mentor
-phone conversation with score!
-GOT THE JOB.
-hung out with brian
-assembled bouquets with duy
-visited sunny place assisted living with fbc small group
-had small group
-ate thai food
-todd will be here in 15 minutes

today was a great day : )

11:09 am: a Good Day
tests are over, spanish is over, got the business exam back (meh...)

will have follow up call regarding the final round interview today, and just received word that i'm an outstanding communication senior.

today is a good day : )

im going to make corn bread muffins today.

just smooooooth sailing until thursday night when the real fun will start.

10:49 am: Thus Far
one exam down, one more to go. as of wednesday ill be a free bird! until the next set of exams, that is.

from now until miercoles, solo peinso en espanol.

es todo!

11:29 pm: My Weekend Thus Far
so i made the trek back to the bay early friday. i had my 4th and final interview with that dream job. all i can say was man was it long. i got to do some more coaching, but i also was assigned to the hardest pod full of late elementary/middle school boys, chock full of behavioral problems. it was fun though i totally loved it. we then had a long discussion and i was pretty much told that my one weakness is my lack of failure/ability to deal with failure in the past. so...shrug? well see what happens. i should find out no later than wednesday. i also completed this test in record time, even after double checking my answers. ive never done multiplication tables in my head so quickly.

my grandmother's 93rd birthday celebration was today. im pretty sure i ate enough to last me an entire week. i had 4 cupcakes. 4. so worth it.

i also ran into allison today and we had coffee and an orbit looking donut structure thing. we ate it until it started to look like a bra. then we stopped.

i <3 allison and reminiscing about good ol cv days.

grin : )

10:56 am: So Happy
i just had a coughing attack during the community property lecture in business law class. i thought i was going to hack up a lung. the girl in front of me looked up in horror. i thought it was my civil duty to wash my hands before coming into the computer lab.

i am so unbelievably happy right now. the sun is shining, the grass is green, the birds are chirping...amazing.

it so just is testament to how everything falls into place when you feel that you're right in line with god.

to me, this is just a glimpse of heaven.

this is how we get by in life.

04:02 am: Shaking Fist at Caffeine
its 4 in the morning. i am so wired. WHY AM I SO WIRED.

spring break was amazing. i want to go back.

07:18 pm: WOOOO SPRING BREEEAK
spring break is going well. ive been reunited back with my favorite people in the entire world. im sitting at todd's right now killing time. im pretty sure that brian had fun which makes me so happy.

here are some highlights as of yet:
going to church on lake ave
seeing ozma at the knitting factory
revisiting campus (and all the stairs)
seeing fun people randomly on campus
malibu kitchen
malibu yo
pet headquarters
beach
hotel cafe
ripley's believe it or not
amoeba
3 hot new cds
tons 'o fun

talk to you all soon.

05:24 pm: Relaxing
now that im unemployed, ive been able to revel in my free time. ive been able to think clearly enough to pick up my clothes in my room and attack the kitchen and bathroom on occasion. today, i went to classes, went to the library to do my spanish homework, went to a meeting (then found out it is actually tomorrow), grabbed lunch with my friend, got my spanish composition proofed by my teacher during office hours, and came home all before 2:00. so i watched 40 year old virgin and lounged.

im getting stir crazy.

i think im one of those people who always has to be doing something or working towards something. like i know that i have an hr exam on thursday, but i dont want to start studying until i have class tomorrow. i finished my spanish and business law stuff that is due before spring break. i did my rebate and wrote a letter to my friend. i dont have to be somewhere for over an hour.

i think this is good practice for me. im really using lent to help me get over some demons from my past. and really the fact of the matter is that i am most likely not going to be working full time for the rest of my life. i do want to eventually pop out a couple of kids, and with the pre and post maternity stuff, ill be forced to the confines of my house for awhile. not saying that im knocked up or anything, but this is good practice for being a good steward of my time. i mean, yes, i dont have a screaming child vying for my attention, but this is still a good lesson for me.

at any rate, i put in my application to tutor. just as a hobby.

in other news, i think im sick of aim, e mail, and my cell phone.

im slipping under the radar!

03:02 pm: Poor Gomez : (
so the internet is out at the kirk house, so i decided to be sporty and bike to the library. i wanted to do abs anyway. this is my excuse for not running tonight. it was sort of cold on the way over, but i warmed up eventually.

i was really excited to see my favorite band (of the moment) gomez play in sf, so i tried frantically to get someone to go with me. i obviously didnt act fast enough because the sf show is all sold out. im sad. oh well, new cd release in may. theyre playing in la on that saturday, but tickets start at $40, and i think theyre just part of a much smaller show. sigh. so close. at least ill get to see ozma in a couple of weeks and catch whoevers playing at the hotel cafe. and im sure ill have my fair share of wonderful concerts next year anyhow.

but gomez.

sigh.

happy lent-ing everyone. instead of giving up something, im continuing on my efforts and search for community by only spending money on building said community. so that means im going to make a conscious effort to take many people out to burritos and yogurt, all my treat. so take advantage of that while you can...jesus was only in the wilderness for 40 days. i kid. but yeah, lets hang out. ive sort of been incognito while my brain was in that hurricane (har har) but im out and all is well.

time to ab.

06:59 pm: My Weekend
i had a full weekend.

yesterday, i did a service project with mortar board (honor society that i dont do anything for) with the tutoring center across the street from campus. we were with our kids from 10-3. FIVE HOURS of kid. and we happened to get the three youngest and the three oldest, which made for an interesting group. my fellow mortar boards were amazing and it was really fun working with them all day. nonetheless, i was freakin exhausted when i made it home near four and smelled like dirt, chalk, and mud. my dad consisted of being hand buddies with 6 year olds, calling after 6 year olds to have hand buddies when the 6 year old didnt want to be hand buddies with me, crayon holding, book reading, graveyard playing, mediating, fitness center monitoring, making sure kids didnt get smashed in between weights, amongst other things. by the end of the day, i was spat on (accidentally), had moist socks shoved in my face (feet still in tact), and had literally flying catapulted tripped over a 6 year old.

it was fulfilling.

it made me think alot, because if all goes well, if i ever have a son, he will probably be hyper. like extra hyper. spunk from his mother and easily distracted tendancies from his father. he will be super cute, but he will also be a handful. but he will be raised in the spirit of god and gods strength will help me get through every tough situation (how cheesy is that).

in other news, im getting really girly and semi high maintanence (no comments, please). everyone knows me as the one who will go for the bargain, and i admit that i have gotten makeup at the dollar store on occasion. but my goodwill clothes and shaggy haircuts wont last me very long in the corporate world. so im taking baby steps in investing in myself for the future. i have:
-made efforts to upkeep haircuts
-spent a little extra on hair care supplies and tools to protect my hair
-think of stacy and clinton everytime i shop for work clothes
-have stopped buying tee shirts

i am in the process of:
-being conscious of my footwear
-looking into taking care of my hands by means of lotion and cheap beauty school manicures
-redoing my makeup styles and brands so it doesnt melt off by 12 (ive had the same makeup regimen since i was 14)

so now i feel super girly and im somewhat ashamed by it. but at least im starting to make an effort. i hope people notice.

i think my rice is done now.

12:49 pm: No Spunk
so im losing my spunk again.

but instead of it being gone due to work, its because of spanish class.

i can gripe for ages about how i detest this class and this professor.

but that wont be effective.

sigh.

but i need to stop running away from my problems, suck it up, and just do it.

LETS DO THIS.

02:19 pm: a Simple Break
3 day weekend. joy.

im back in castro valley for the afternoon. yesterday i drove down with one of the pr girls to santa cruz for our prssa relaxation weekend. last pr retreat was quite crazy. this one was quite tame. we baked and passed out at 11:30 watching "shall we dance". one of the girls still had half of her fuzzy navel b&j girly drink still in the bottle. poor luis..it was quite the chick weekend. it was much fun and we agreed that baking should be a prerequisite for prssa from now on.

im going to sf tonight to meet up with some aluma prssa ladies (and brian) in the city. so excited! im just not excited about the bart ride over. that shall be a little bit scary. because im leaving after family dinner.

my mom should have majored in pr. seriously. and people wonder who gave me my spunk!

my car is having major problems. im really scared to drive it. robin noticed that my breaks were making funny noises. so she warned me to take it easy on hwy 17. it didnt help that some car nearly merged right into me causing me to slam on my breaks. sigh. it makes horrible clunking noises when i accelerate which makes me think its something more than the break (i.e., transmission).

this also makes me worried because im supposed to be driving down to la for spring break with brian. in my broken car. with the broken windshield.

i mean, come on, i know work reimburses me for mileage, but i think its time that i cash some of that stuff in.

ive already lost another one of my hubcaps.

sigh. i should have heeded brad's warning.

time to try my new hair tools.

09:11 am: The Light at the End
i think im sprinting towards the light instead of waiting for it to come to me. peace and sanity are on its way.

i just hope this isnt a bad idea.

but if i learned anything, its not to be afraid to take risks.

twixters are always afraid of taking risks.

im going to get my spunk back.

we all have to make a date to meet for coffee sometime soon.

03:10 pm: Here's a Glimpse of What I'm Going Through
Here's just a little something from where I'm coming from. note: this talks alot about my concerns as i end school and enter the workforce, so if you could care less about what im doing in preparation for that, then don't read it : )

( an e-mail to my pastor )

so yeah. pray for me.

12:51 pm: A Pet Peeve
i recently discovered that it really irks me when people assume that my nick name is "jeni".

despite the fact that "jenny" is a nickname that most "jennifer"s get rid of when they enter college, i have never gone by, nor will ever, go by the nomer "jeni".

so i realized that my spanish teacher marked me absent on friday because i didnt answer when she called the name "jeni". my name was clearly written jeniELLE on the sign in sheet. she would have done it again today if i hadn't stopped her to clarify.

she then proceeded to scold me for not answering when she calls me name.

yo senora. that ain't my name, yo!

shaking fist.

i miss the old senora : (

01:02 am: What a Year this Week has Been
it wasn't even a full week of school, yet it sort of already feels like its midterms already.

i racked up a lot of miles.

i freaked out a lot.

i doubted the program, i doubted myself.

but i prayed.

i trusted god.

i knew he wouldn't put me through a situation that i wouldn't be able to handle.

he reminded me what he did in the past.

then he rained down blessings.

even more than i needed.

in this upcoming week, im going to be going through the same thing, except with another location, while at the same time keeping up with the past location.

the following week, the same pattern will follow. but instead of keeping up with one past location, ill be keeping up with two.

im a three trick pony!

ill be able to breathe a sigh of relief on February 5.

maybe.

every blessing you pour out we'll turn back to praise!